SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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