Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize