That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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