Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
