I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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