whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
