you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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