I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
