Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
