can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I showed him my bush... on skype.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
