uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
