Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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