Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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