I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
