If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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