So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Randomize
