Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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