You were right. It hurts to walk today.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
