I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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