i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
