We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
