Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
