It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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