so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
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When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
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I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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