Your tits are I can't wait for
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
