Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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