How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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