remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
