I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Randomize
