When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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