Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
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You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
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I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
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