If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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