i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
