i barfeds in our rink
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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