Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Shame - the story of my life.
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