Can i not drive my cunt home
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
