I want you more than these girls want KFC
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
