What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You work out of a Hotel?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
