i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
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I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
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Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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