I don't remember. Are we still dating?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
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