it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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