weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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