Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
