whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
