WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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