i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
