This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
