I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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