see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
