she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
