my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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