i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
