her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
