guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
