I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
