she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize