she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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