so explain again why im purple
no
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
