break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
