You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
