i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
