So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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