Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my hands just texted you
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize