I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
