we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize