You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
